05 December 2004 * 08:58
I am sick of being a single parent. And I will be doing this shit again in 2006. I am tired of never being away from these kids unless it is to go to the doctor to sit in a waiting room full of sick people hoping I don't get a germ. I am tired of never sleeping through the night because Lauren can't sleep in her own bed and she wakes up several times a night. I am tired of Kaylee always telling me no and hitting her sister and taking stuff from her no matter how much I punish her. I just slapped her jaws. She came up and punched Lauren in the back so hard it echoed. I went to spank her and she threw herelf in the floor and wouldn't get up, so I just popped her jaws ans left her in her room. Plus she can't open that door. So she gets 2 punishments. I dreamed about beating the crap out of her last night. Three nights ago I woke up swearing I heard the doorbell and the first thought was there were Marines standing outside my door. No, they wouldn't come in the middle of the night. They only bring bad news during business hours, LOL. Well, on weekends if needed of course. I have had my fill of this stuff for now. I am tired. The next deployment will not be so bad really. This just seems worse because he was only here 2 months out of the past 14. I am officially off Depo ond on Ortho Tri Cyclen now. Maybe I will lose some more weight now. I am so tired. You know, even though I will be wired up and under a camera, I look so forward to the sleep apnea test just so I can sleep alone and get some rest, LOL. That is the 9th. My mind is racing and my body is exhausted. How does that work? Anyone wants a puppy named Molly? I am sick of her escaping the fence. I gotta go write my husband. That always helps.
Stef
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