01 November 2004 * 09:00
I swear, I never know what I want from one day to the next. Mostly in my marriage. I think I am staying married because it is easy. I don't know if I love him like I should. I love him less every time he opens his mouth. He is just someone to make the money to pay the bills I think. Sure I care about his safety. I care about him as a person. I know I did love him. He did give me 2 beautiful little girls. But I am not really attracted to him. I hate his teeth and his stinky breath. He doesn't floss. He says he ca't get it between his teeth. It is disgusting. I can't stand for him to French kiss me because of that. And he eats my face off. His teeth are all up by my nose. He is scrawny. He is too mean to the kids. Ugh. I am gonna get skinny. I am gonna get the kids in school. I am gonna get my cosmetology license. I am gonna make myself happy. If I am miserable with him, I am gonna divorce him. He has a lot of work to do. I am always changing my life for him and he can change for me. Think I will tell him that now while I feel bitchy.
Stef
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