21 August 2004 * 22:27
So much has happened since I have been here last. The trip to Cali was OK. Flying makes me want to hurl, even when I take Dramamine. California, well the part I visited, wasn't so great. Everything is brown. All the buildings, the ground, the trees, everything. We went to a big pier and walked out over the Pacific Ocean. Of course people were fishing all over it and it stunk, LOL. But Mom took some pics of me and William on it. And Mom was whiney and we had to kick her out and put the do not disturb sign up to have sex. I should have known huh? We only got to be together twice, but it wasn't all about that. We spent the time together we needed. He told me to save up and we were going to spend a weekend in a hotel when he gets back, just the 2 of us. We decided on the Wynfrey. We can shop if we want to, get whatever we want to eat, or even go to Spa Japonika. That will be so nice. I am voting all room service though, LOL!
Today we had the baby shower for all the expectant moms in our unit. Only 1 didn't show up. They all got some good stuff, and they seemed very happy. They each got $60 to go towards the big items they need, like cribs and strollers and such. But, at the end of the shower, Vicki, our KV Advisor, and our FRO came in and had to give us some bad news. The were vague at first so we were all sitting there silent, teary eyed, and scared. During a night op, a lead Humvee in a conoy hit a parked tank they didn't see. The gunner was killed and one of the guys broke his leg. The other 3 Marines in the vehicle were OK. The Marine killed had a wife, a 4 year old daughter, and a 10 month old son. They have only been there a week. A lady called me tonight who is friends with the injured Marine's Mom. He supposedly told her that they jerked the vehicle to avoid hitting the tank, and it turned over, crushing his leg. I am assuming the guy who was killed was thrown out.
Also, one of the Corpsmen told a story of being on a run, and setting up tents for the night. When they got up, there was a rocket nearby that had not exploded. Where was the firewatch guy(s)?! These are the idiots who my husband has to depend on? Well, they aren't his platoon. He is perimeter security on base for now. I hope it stays that way. I won't lie, I still think about playing the crazy card to get him home. I don't know if it would work or not. I don't even know what would happen to me. I go to see my PCM the 9th, and I will have him refer me to a shrink. Then I will ask what happens if I try to do anything stupid. I would be scared and stupid, but if my husband got to come home I might do it. I read this and realize how stupid I sound, but I want my husband to be safe.
Apparently Gabe Drummond found my diary and sent pieces of it to William's, and his, ex-girlfriend Rachel. What the hell? Why would someone do that? I mean, what difference does it make to Rachel that I am freaked out over my husband going to Iraq? It isn't like he and she are still friends. She and I made peace, but we aren't buddies or anything. I am not in any way trying to be ugly about her. She seems to be a really nice person. Maybe we could have been friends if things hadn't been so strained in the beginning. Who knows? I certainly don't have any bad feelings towards her. I almost want to contact her sometimes. I mean, if someone I used to date were going to war, I am sure I would feel a little scared and sad. Most of the time all feelings don't go away when a relationship ends. There are usually at least still feelings of friendship. I am babbling. Gabe was stupid for doing that. And obviously he is immature. I was mad at first. But my diary is public. I just don't know how he found it. Nothing Monica and I typed in to search engines popped it up. Eh, who knows. It is dumb.
Well, I am off to try to get some sleep. I wish I would hear from William. He hasn't even checked his e-mail, and that is free for him to do. He knows I don't care if he calls me collect. It makes me wonder if he was changed back to convoy security though. They can be gone for days at a time. I hope he hasn't.
If you read this and you pray, please pray for my husband and his unit. Well sure, all our troops. I guess I am selfish.
Stephee
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